2024-07-08 - Is that alright? Is that alright with you?

It was impossible to avoid the weighty thoughts and feelings emanating from Mother. Auth knew they were not alone in feeling them, that their siblings must too. But Auth did not reach out for support. They preferred to deal with things themselves for the most part.

Mother's thoughts were complicated. They dwelt on relationships, on duty and on the far future. None of which Auth had any experience with and honestly, very little interest in. They could feel the significance of these topics, they knew how important they were, but Auth had never summoned any energy to delve into such subjects.

The complex dance of relationships was a complete mystery to them, even when they had tried to make sense of it. Auth had difficulty understanding how others connected and why it was important to be polite and do things they didn't want to do just to appease others and say one thing but mean another and-

Auth made a conscious effort to relax their growing muscles. Relationships and politics were too much for them.

Duty was more straightforward. And necessary of course. For some. But not something Auth wanted anything to do with. The concept of responsibility made their hide itch. It was incredible how much Mother had to do in order to take care of those around her. Auth was genuinely impressed by this and admired Mother for it. But it was clearly a burden and burdens were chains to freedom.
Auth needed freedom more than anything.

So Auth lay beneath the weight of Mother's situation and a part of them wished they could understand or care more about these things just to give her some relief.