2024-06-22 - Slap me with a splintered ruler

Language with its weight and meanings was a wonderful distraction for Polaris, keeping it entertained until it could figure out how to explore more of the world Beyond.

It enjoyed listening in to conversations Mother held, learning the different ways She would speak to different Others. In this way Polaris learned of many new beings, the most frequent of those being Shayled (someone of great importance, but who felt very very different from Mother), Issrodeth and Igrith (presumed to be Other Mothers) and Pertemarth (recently named Father). There were others of course, names that drifted in and out, some like Mother, others like Father, and more interestingly still, those like Shayled. Polaris was greatly intrigued by her. She seemed so close to Mother and yet they felt so very different. It could not sense claws or teeth, but there was still a bite in her. It looked forward to being able to converse with her at some point.

Which should surely be sometime soon, no? Polaris had already managed to reach several of Its fellows and have conversations with them. Some were stimulating and thought provoking, others... less so. It seemed as though a lot of Its "clutchmates" (It had learned that term recently) were focused on gaining as much attention as possible, whether from eachother or Mother. Polaris wasn't interested in that. It was more focused on progressing, moving forward, and didn't really care who witnessed It doing so. Perhaps staying away from the centre of attention was even a good thing! It could do things without judgement or admonishment if It went unobserved. A good thought. Yes.

Indeed, Polaris had noticed lately that whenever Its clutchmates moved in the physical plane, whether by accident or on purpose, Mother tended to guide them back and resettle them rather quickly. They were not allowed to move without Her consent it seemed. Sometimes She was kind with her words to them, saying how She cared and they could not just "roll away". But other times She was a little harsher, more exasperated by such behaviour. Either way, it drew Her attention and those clutchmates were then under Her watchful eye for longer periods. Polaris did not like this. It did not like the further restraint Mother kept upon them all. So It deteremined to behave (for now) and remain unobtrusive until It could actually accomplish something.

Which, again, should be quite soon.

With thoughts turning to the future once again, Polaris dwelt more and more on how everyone interacted with one another. Obviously Its clutchmates were as new to this world as It was, so It couldn't really use them as a good example. But paying close attention to Mother and the Others allowed It to start seeing patterns through conversation. Things that were said, and things that were not.

One of the first things It was aware of was social standing, though It did not have this term for it. Mother was Very Important to everyone, as was Shayled. So many deferred to them and their wishes. Polaris admired that, though It could not find cause for it. Had Mother done something to earn such a position? Could It? Pertemarth seemed important too, though not quite as much. Mother held him in great regard for he was Her Mate and Polaris had gathered that was a fine role to have. (It had vague concepts of Father being involved in Its creation, but It wasn't following that line of thought currently.) But to others "equal" to Mother, like the Other Mothers, Pertemarth was barely a thought. This was confusing and Polaris spent much of Its time trying to discern why some were so valued and some were not, especially as it seemed to change depending on who was asked.

It wondered too if It had a place in this strange social song. Was It as important as Mother? Or even less than those like Utaibath? What of Its clutchmates?

It paused a moment in these ponderings.
Was any of it that important? Did It really care why some were elevated? Or where It fit in others' minds?

The answer came like a flash in the dark.
Quite simple.
No!

A pleasant shiver passed over Polaris as It came to the realisation that It would do and say whatever It wanted regardless of what anyone thought. It didn't need to conform or waste time trying to understand and navigate these social cues. It was sure there were far more interesting things out in the world to occupy Its thoughts!

Yes.
That was decided.

A wave of relief as It let this somewhat tedious subject go.
But one more thing needed to be decided before It could leave it behind completely.

Polaris had felt the weight of Mother's voice, and Father's too. They were the strongest examples of some fundamental difference that seemed to divide the beings of this world.

Mother was She. Father was He.
And It was?

Decidedly non-conformist now.

It would be both and none at all!
It was a whole world after all, not half of one.
It would be They.