2024-07-18 - Eavesdropping

It wasn’t that Jinth resented his mother’s relationship with Pertemarth or anything like that. He liked listening in on their interactions, learning more about how relationships worked out in the world of not-darkness.

There were admittedly things he didn’t understand about that relationship that no amount of observation could answer though. Biggest being the question of why Pertemarth was the not-father rather the father of the eggs. Mother clearly preferred the former’s company over the later’s. So why wasn’t he the one chosen to be father instead? The thinking behind those decisions escaped him.

Regardless of why things were like that, Jinth still saw how Mother felt around her chosen mate, how it made her happy to be around him. And how much she missed him when he went away for longer than a night. So when he returned from his trip away Jinth was happy to watch the reunion. Until it went into a far more intimate direction than he expected and became uncomfortable to watch at all. He retreated from them then, but only until the worst of the intimacy was over, then returned to observing them again when it was safe.

Long after the adults were asleep Jinth was still working over in his mind the nuances he observed. And the far scarier idea of himself in such a relationship with another. The companionship parts seemed a plus, sharing ideas back and forth with someone who understood you and who you understood. The loss and longing part wasn’t, though. That was scary to contemplate for Jinth. To want and never have when needed was something he never wanted to experience, if he was honest with himself.

It would take the young dragonet a long long time to come to terms with those scary ideas.