2024-07-13 - Queen Business

Today, Rioth shuddered and perked up at the feeling of a completely new mind at the fringes of her awareness. It was distraught, it was angry, it was proud and it was defeated.

She probably couldn't fix whatever was wrong. But it didn't mean she wouldn't try.

"Hello." She reached as far as she could towards that feeling, and was stunned into further silence for a very long while at the person she found. At length, she continued, a little slower and far more thoughtful.

"I don't know if you can hear me. I don't think you can, none of the others can. Even if I use my big voice. I have a really. Big. Voice, you know. I like how it sounds with Ilrioth when we sing things. He's another one of us. He makes me laugh, sometimes..."

Another pause. There wasn't a response, there hadn't been, there probably wouldn't be, but she continued anyway - perhaps for herself now, more than for the strange brown. "I'm not Gold, either. I know that. They talk about it. There's gold on the thing I'm in but I'm too small. I thought I was, I knew I was like my mother and that was what I wanted to be, all that business. And the BABIES.

"But it's okay! Golds aren't allowed to have any fun!" She paused. That wasn't exactly right, either. "No, I messed up. Some have fun. Some do not. A lot of people outside think that's just how the way things are so they have to keep being that way, they think that about SO. MANY. THINGS, I don't UNDERSTAND and I'm TRYING...but maybe things don’t have to stay the same. A lot of people are unhappy when things stay the same, you know."

She fell silent, again.

Did you name yourself something else when you were like me? crossed her mind as a fleeting thought; she did not share it. It didn't feel correct. It could hurt Ertineth. And to do it would acknowledge an uglier truth - if there were five things to be, that was four chances that you could name the wrong one. And this brown was miserable. Rioth did not want to be miserable, she would make sure she wouldn't be miserable.

Her next reach was quieter, but it was more heartfelt and inviting. Maybe this brown could hear the mood if they couldn't hear the words.

"You can come see us, if you like. You just need to ask Mother. Perhaps...you can ask her if you can do some queen business, too."