2024-06-21 - Trickery and Understanding - 3.3

Words are still confusing beyond imagination, a whole mystery to unravel with every sentence - Did it have any kind of double-meaning? A joke? An insult? Was it all just asked for the sake of it rather than being meant? It was fun, when it wasn't something one thought about doing in the future. I like things simple! None of this complexity, thank you, despite how fun it was to unravel. Flying high and flying high? Overreaching maybe? It didn't sound like my favourite really liked them, neither did Mother for that matter.

Aside from that, it seemed that these were skills everyone was using, which frightened me. How was I meant to cope in a world where everything is a double meaning, one gets exhausted thinking about minor discoveries, let alone when those discoveries are in each and every spoken word! Did Mother not mean quiet when She said it? Did She mean excitement? An adventure? There are so many possible answers, how am I meant to know which one She means? Would I ever be able to infer independently? What would happen when one was, inevitably, wrong? Would Mother be so kind as to forgive one?

The new mind, though, that was something one did not fancy at all. Asking to come closer then refusing to do so, a lie! Setting expectations and then not abiding by them. That was it! That was what was so deeply upsetting. All of those expectations being set when they speak and then those same expectations being dashed like glass on the ground. Was this all some big joke to laugh at? Mother did not like him at all, at all. Good, she shouldn't. There are enough beings here for one to be satisfied with questions and discoveries for the rest of one's life.

Was I the punchline?