2024-06-18 - unfolding, unfurling |2.3|

inward has changed

or it has changed, and what inward means changed with it (a heady, overwhelming thought, like what mother thinks at/around/through it, thoughts like future and one day)

but suddenly it can feel

this is what it feels:
- the boundary of inward and outward, solid in one way but not in another (the way that it senses the many others, the way mother reaches it)
- what is solid is all the way around (and around and around and - and it is going to keep doing this)
- turning around and around is good
- somehow the boundary also turns, which is why it is good, and when it turns... there is a clarity, a greater feeling, of where it is and how far inward stretches, and how much it can reach -

but another sudden, unpleasant thing: it is tired

all it had been doing is turning! a final new realization: this is anger, this jagged and slow-moving dislike for what must be accepted

sullenly, it stops