2024-06-16 - Words are nebulous - 3.2

One learns to listen to Mother, to understand her, slowly but surely. She speaks with many and often, with not too many questions or ponderings happening before She starts again. It is refreshing, to an extent, not to be stuck with one’s own musings for company whenever She does not speak to one or the other not-ones. A break from the mad argosies carrying so many important messages. All so important and so all became dull. How can everything be important all at once?

The many that She projects to are all so different too. Sometimes, one still tunes it out just to hide, hope that those different strangers leave Her alone so that Her attention is solely on one and the others. One’s favourite is Her closest, so like her, yet so different. So much smaller and still She cares for that one. She will giggle and say sorry and not mean a word of it. Other times She would. It didn’t make much sense at all.

Was ‘sorry’ a simple term used so others feel for you? Grasp you and understand you and refuse to let you go? Does it happen often? She would say it while playing, did She want him to understand Her? To be close with Her? This felt more important than most musings, leaves in the wind in comparison to this grand discovery. She would say it if She bit too hard, or if she moved one a little too quickly. Did She want one to understand Her? To feel for Her? One does, one does!

One understands more now, I promise. I promise I will understand more.

I feel you!

I’m sorry for how I am.