2024-06-10 - [ 1-3 ] my own light

For a time, the dreamer was as guileless as a tiny moon, its only light simply a reflection of its dams comings and goings. As it dreamed, the awareness of being presented as a gradual descending of clarity. When a thunderstorm disturbs a body of water, the sediment naturally settles again. The water clears.

That is how it became aware of its own being.

In its own private way, Sunbeam experiences the most complex emotions yet experienced in its brief existence: the feeling of bittersweet. Before this moment, mother’s heart and its own beat one and the same, a beautiful rhythm that powered the engine of its entire world, but now it has begun to understand the delineation between its mother and its own self. The rhythms of its mother coming, going, do offer quiet, titillating moments where it begins to understand itself more, and lend credence to notions of some greater purpose. It’s the bitter sweetness that is a sign of a more dolorous temperament in future, or just a temporary growing pain. It is likely that Sunbeam will soon forget such conflicting feelings, as time goes on. In this moment, however, mother has no equal, and sometimes it felt lonely being a sole island in the midst of her great ebullient sea.