2024-06-09 - Other Ones, not so vast.

She did stay when she could. One got the sense of that at the very least, one could certainly be wrong but one hoped that this was the case. Mother Spoke often as well and it became easier. One wasn't entirely sure of time, She was there and then She wasn't, each felt equally long and equally eternal, so one began to judge time by knowing. By what one knows and does not know, by how many questions one has and how many have been answered so far. She answers some questions, as vague as it always is and almost always unintentionally, but most of the time it just raises more, giving more to know and understand when She leaves again.

It is when She leaves, leaving one with more questions as She does, that one can feel another change. Something else, something one mistakes for Mother at first. After all, this is exactly how one first realized Mother was here, that She had provided so many changes. It was so similar, yet so different all the same. It could not be Mother, it could not be Her warmth or Her care, it was too different, too small, too far away. Were these... ones just like Mother? Going away and coming back?

They were light, one decided, brighter than one was used to for anything that was not Mother, brighter than one liked, certainly. The saving grace was the emptiness between them, the ability to absorb a little ways away from them and hope that one was not acknowledged quite yet. It was indeed quite similar to when Mother was simply nearby, simply close enough to examine and try to understand. It will take more questions and more knowing before one would feel comfortable with trying to reach out, trying to reach them. They are not Mother, they are not one either, they are something different entirely, and one was simply too curious within this vast empty that was slowly and steadily becoming far less vast and far less empty. Filling up with noise and presence and being that one cannot begin to appreciate just yet, there was simply too much, but at least now one knew that Mother will be there when one is ready and one hopes these new ones will be there too.

For now, one is content to admire from a distance, content with the idea that maybe they will also know things.