2024-06-09 - Comprehension, In Small Steps

Mother's presence, even when it is no longer seen as everything, is a joy. Her absence, too, is a joy, but of a different and lesser sort. Nothing bothers this creature in its new awareness - everything is acceptable, and so it is accepted without problem. It begins to take in her nuances - hunger is something it has already noticed, but it notes her satiation and relief when she returns, occasional flares of protective rage, affection towards itself and sometimes other, unknown things. It notices these, remembers them, studies them in turn when they come around. Its favourite is when her affection is directed nearby, but not directly at itself. This is most comfortable to bask in - warmth and love and care, powerful enough to be felt without the still-pleasant scorch of her full attention.

Things change once again, as they have started to do more regularly, when it begins to pay proper attention to the further nuances of these warm emotions. They are deliberate not just in direction but in meaning. It is being told of the world outside - outside? A new concept, one to discover in its own time as with all things - and of how much it is loved and wanted and anticipated. This, too, is loved most when it is directed near to but not at itself. It absorbs and listens and appreciates, but it does not try to imitate just yet. It knows it could, but it has nothing to say just yet.

One day, when it is ready, it will talk the world in a circle. For now, it sits and it waits and it appreciates.