2024-06-03 - The Cycle

The weight anchors The Mother to here, to now. That is all there is. She wants something else.

She gets something else. The weight is lifted. The Mother disappears.

Now there is nothing.

......................................

There is only the sensation of drifting. Floating. Unmoored. There's nothing wrong or right about it. It's not unpleasant. It just is.

Is it still dreaming? Or is this a different stage in the sleep cycle? Can the thing developing inside this egg have a sleep cycle yet?

Suddenly, The Mother returns with all of her weight, a crushing pressure only because there is a contrast, the experience of absence.

The Mother wants to be here. The Mother does not want to be here. Both are equally true. The weight anchors her to here, to now. That is all that there is. Everything is exactly as it was. And yet, it isn't.

She wanted something else. She got something else. She was gone. She is here now, as before.

There is no understanding here, yet. No awakening. Perhaps not even a sleep cycle. But there is some kind of cycle now. Crushing weight, weightless floating. Back and forth. To and fro. Turn and return.

There is no question of meaning, nor a concern for it. There is only the cycle of existing. That is all there is. Yet it is more than what was before.