2024-06-03 - am i Me?

maybe, like all of the other revelations before, this revelation is not as profound as it should be. perhaps this is because, like all other things, being simply was and is and, as far as is known, will be.

and yet one day, the egg awakens and is Aware. this is most noticeable whenever Mother and Warmth disappear. this day, Cold is not all-encompassing; in fact, instead of the Cold, there is Curiosity. the mind reaches, tentatively, past its hardening shell, understanding now that Mother is Gone but not Forever. the Cold comes and it will go, and it will go when Mother comes back, bringing her Warmth.

these are all words the egg recognizes, as it recognizes Heat, which the egg gives off, and Light and Dark. there is no concept of 'day' or 'night' yet, but the egg is surprised when it realizes that it knows of itself. it is hard to grasp the concept of being both the egg and not the egg, something more than its shell, yet grasp it does, slowly. surely.

Heat rises inside its shell, excitement at the knowledge it has gained. it is hotter than it has ever been before, with and without Mother and her Warmth. it embraces this heat, then becomes overwhelmed by it, and searched frantically for familiarity. Mother is not there, but they are, separate from the egg, but somehow the same as it, and it cools marginally. its Heat cannot reach them yet, but it will, soon, and somehow it knows that. somehow it knows its siblings without truly even knowing itself.

Mother comes back, bringing her Warmth, and the Heat Cools further as the egg purrs happily and the mind inside, weary, falls to rest.